Day 10: Still No Change

No progress.
For that part. T.T
Still feel lonely.
Feel so overwhelm.

New daaaay, come here soooon.
 

Prints All The Way

You know, I’ve been telling you a few times that I love prints and patterns so much. 

That’s why my favorite designer are Mark Eley and Wakako Kishimoto from Eley Kishimoto. They always have a joy on playing in different prints every collection. 

Recently, I also fall in love with another British designer, Charlotte Taylor, who also loves to play with different kind of prints. 

Aaah, I love British designers. 
I love prints. 
That’s why I will write about Charlotte Taylor design in my next post. 

And, that’s why I took some pictures with different prints today.

Prepare to fly..

In Gatot Kaca's Pose, I fly..! ^^

Just landed in a weird way.

THE STUFF:

Fish Printed Top>> ITC Mangga Dua

Polkadot Pants>> ITC Mangga Dua

Printed Scarf (used as head piece)>> Bali

Black Stockings>> Unbranded

Black Clogs>> Bee Bop

Neon Colors Watch>> Unbranded

Brown Fringe Bag>> Mum’s

Regards,

Japanese Feeling

Jadi inget pas suatu hari ke Bali bareng keluarga.

Kita lagi nunggu taksi di pinggir jalan.

Dan entah kenapa sang supir bengong pas bokap manggil.

Mukanya kaya takut gitu mau nanya tujuan kita.

Pas akhirnya kita semua naik ke dalem taksinya dia baru bilang,

"Kirain saya keluarga dari Jepang, Pak! Makanya saya bingung pas Bapak manggil tadi."

Hahaha.

Kalo dijejerin di pinggir jalan, keluarga gw emang lebih mirip keluarga dari Vietnam, Hongkong, atau Tiongkok.

Gara-gara mata yang sipit dan kulit yang kuning langsat.

Padahal, asli Sunda euy. 

Hahaha.

Bokap asli Subang. Nyokap besar di Bandung.

Dan gw besar di Bogor.

So, Sunda kaaan?

I am not Japanese, but Javanese.

Hehe.

One day, gw iseng foto-foto close-up sendiri.

Pas udah jadi dan di-edit ternyata I feel this Japanese feeling on it.

So, I called these my Japanese theme pictures.

All photos by Dheyzhere

Regards,

Penting Ngga Penting, Yang Penting Nulis.

"Begadang jangan begadaaang.."
Begitu Bang Rhoma berpesan.
Hahaha.

Tapi, apa mau dikata Bang Rhoma.
Saya tetep ngga bisa tidur malem ini.
Entah kenapa.
Adrenalin saya masih aja semangat bekerja setelah seharian ini.

Agak aneh sih kalo dipikir-pikir.
Biasanya kan saya (yang notabene pengangguran ini) leyeh-leyeh doang di rumah.
Ngga ngapa-ngapain dan ngga ke mana-mana.
Tapi kok justru malah cepet ngantuk yah?
(Ooh tidak. Kata sakral yang pantang disebutkan. NGANTUK. Selalu bikin saya nguap. T.T)
Jam setengah sembilan aja mata udh perih-perih asoy gitu.
Kata orang Sunda mah udah reeup..bray..reeup..bray.
Hehehe.

Tapi ini, abis seharian pergi dari rumah.
(Bukan kabur loh. tapi ada urusan yang lebih bermutu. Hehehe.)
Saya yang pegel leher, kaki, dan mata ini justru malah masih melek dan ngejogrog aja gitu di depan laptop.
TIDAK BISA SLEEPING alias bobo alias tidur.

Aigooo.
Malem-malem sendirian bingung juga mau ngapain.
Kucing-kucing lagi pada hang out bareng temen-temennya di malam hari.
Mami+papi (hoeeks..entah kenapa jijay denger orang manggil ini..hahaha), bokap+nyokap sama si ade udah sibuk di dunia mimpi.
Jadi akhirnya kuputuskan nulis aja deh.
Ngga penting tapi penting buat latih otak supaya tetep cerdas.
Hahaha.
Hey, at least I'm doing something rather than biting my nails.
Or, even better, picking up my nose.
(Kesannya jadi kaya ngambil idung gw yang jatoh. amit-amit. Pait..pait..pait..)



Sebenernya ini tulisan ngga jelas juntrungannya ke mana sih.
Tapi, saya nulis ini ada alesannya juga.


Tadi abis flashback ke postingan-postingan blog masa lalu.
Ternyata seru juga baca tulisan sendiri.
I can see myself grow trough those posts.
I can also feel emotion, loneliness, happiness, craziness, friendship, anger, and love from those pages of posts.


And, one thing I also founds out:
I'm not a bad writer, either.


Hahaha.
Mulai sombong.
Kadang yah, kalo abis nulis blog itu suka minder dan ngerasa, "Haduuh, tulisan eike jelek amat, Bos! Grammar Inggrisnya ancur (bener bangeet ini), inti ceritanya ngga ada."
Tapi ternyata disitu seninya.
Nulis emang ngga harus dan ngga bisa selalu sempurna.
Tapi dari kesalahan-kesalahan itu saya bisa menangkap kejujuran dan kesan real dari tulisan saya.
Dari tulisan-tulisan itu saya belajar.
Dari tulisan-tulisan itu juga saya tumbuh.
Baik secara emosi, pikiran, dan tata bahasa tentunya.


Sama halnya dengan tulisan, saya berharap pandangan saya pun akan terus berkembang.
Terutama tentang kehidupan.
Saat ini sih saya kebanyakan selalu memandang negatif sama yang namanya kehidupan.
Penyebabnya cuma satu.
Saya belum berhasil menemukan yang namanya real happiness.
Emang si happy ini rada susah ditemuin kayanya.
Padahal banyak yang nyari loh, Bu Happy!
(Kesannya jadi kaya lagi manggil leadernya ibu-ibu arisan..hahaha)


Tapi mungkin akhirnya saya bisa sadar.
Kalo hidup itu ngga selamanya harus mencari kebahagiaan.
Karena kesempatan kita merasakan dan melewati berbagai emosi-- sedih, marah, cemburu, iri, dengki, bangga, kagum, semangat --adalah sebuah pengalaman berharga yang lebih dari sekedar bahagia.
Kesempatan belajar merasakan berbagai perasaan ini bikin diri kita jadi lebih kaya.
Kaya segala-galanya. 
Kaya rasa.
Kaya ilmu.
Kaya emosi.
Kaya akal sehat.


Well, sometimes I don't even know where these wise words come from.
Maybe from another tiny part of me.
Or maybe someone else is controlling my brain.
Whatev.


Sejalan dengan tulisan tak berujung ini, saya bukannya merasa ngantuk. (seperti yang saya harapkan.)
Saya malah merasa lapar.
Jadi, saya mau makan tengah malam sambil menikmati kesendirian dulu saudara.



Peace out,

Self Portrait

Well. turns out my camera is unfixable.
Or, to be clearer, it's too expensive to fix so my mom wouldn't wanna fix it.
Bummer.
Hahaha.

I miss my blog so much.
I miss taking pictures so much.
I miss dressing up so much.

Hopefully I will find a way to buy a new camera real soon.

Meanwhile,
I took some self portrait pictures from my cell phone today.

Just treat the longing from my camera for a bit and a while. 

Who Am I?

I am not Spider-man.
I wish I were.
At least I wanna have one kind of super power, whether it is being invisible or a time traveler.

Then, who the hell am I?
What do I wanna do?
Now?
Or, in life?
The future?

Who am I?
That's the thing I still can't figure out.
People at the same age of me, they already know what they want.
They want to be a singer, an actor, a fashion stylist, a comedian, a vet, a doctor, or just being a dreamer.
But me?
I'm stuck here inside my little bubble.
Confused.
Trying to figure out what exactly I WANT to do.

Right now, all I can feel is just a lot of pressure and negativity.
From me, from my shitty life, from Him that I should respect, from my own mind.
Just lonely and negative.
But, when it's time for me to get out of this bubble.
I can't and I won't.
It has a great power of sucking me back in.
Yeah.
That bubble.
Blame it to that bubble.
I am innocent.
The bubble did all wrong.

Fuck it.

I want to be a singer.
I want to be an actor.
I want to be a fashion stylist.
I want to be a vet.
I want to safe animals.
I want to be a sport journalist.
I want to be a dreamer forever.

FUCK IT.

I want it all.
Yeah, I want it all.
There.
I said it.
I wanna be just like those on the list.

I want to be free.
Just be free.

I'm Thirsty..But, Hey, We Meet Again!!

I am thirsty. Literally.
Haha.
Fasting here.
But, whatever..

Long time no see.
Long time no write.
Hahaha.
I said I would go back to my blog ASAP after I finished getting my degree.
But hey. I am a liar.
Hahaha.

The fact that I don't have a camera right now makes me sick.
Really. (Remember? I broke my camera. And still no fixing yet.)
I can't take any picture.
Yeah.
Really. Really Suck.
My mom promise she will buy a new camera for me.
But, it's not a cheap thing, right?
So, we currently saving our money to buy new camera here.
Hopefully I can buy it soon. Keep my fingers cross!!

But, on the bright side.
I got a very good score in my mini-thesis presentation. Yaaaay!!
Finally, it's finish. I am done. I get my degree.
Hahaha.

I am currently enjoying my 'no-work' self at home.
No job, no money, no boyfriend, no everything.
Just me, myself, and my cats.
Oh, and my laptop and internet.
Hahaha.

I haven't thought about my next step yet (I mean about finding a job).
Should think about it soon.
My mom keep pushing me.
Haha.
Thx mom.
I still think about taking a job in fashion field or journalism field.
I wanna be a fashion or sport journalist.
But, I'm thinking I really wanna take some short courses too, you know.
Like singing, dancing, or cooking.
Maybe in the future I can be a Chef. Haha.
Who knows I maybe can be a devilish partner for Che f Gordon Ramsey from Hell's Kitchen, hahaha. (No way. With my high blood pressure, I think I'm gonna die in there, ^^).

But hey,
at least I'm writing again.
That's a good sign.
Just wait patiently till I buy a new camera, okay??

Oh, and I am enjoying my off day with 2NE1 music beside me.
They are really cool.

Something about Love

Love knows no age, race, sex, time, or even religion.

Love has its own system.

And no one can control it.

That's why being in love is so lovable.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



DETAILS:

Stripes Top & Pattern Leggings>> Mum's, Ring>> Some Bazaar, Wedges>> Centro, Scarf>> Bali, Bowler Hat>> Chaussure Shop via FB

Regards,

If The World were Mine

If the world were mine.

I would say to people:
"Don't please others"
"Please yourself"

If the world were mine.

I would say to people:
"Don't hear others"
"Hear yourself"

If the world were mine.

If the world were mine.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



Photo by me. Edited by me. Oh, so lonely.

DETAILS:
Dress>> ITC Mangga Dua, Leggings>> Unbranded, Socks>> Sister's, Boots>> Dad's, Bowler Hat>> Somewhere in Depok, Printed Bag>> Bonus from Magazine

Regards,

Fairy

Just saw this really nice dress few days ago.
Couldn't resist to buy it.
It looks like a fairy dress.



DETAILS:

Dress>> Number 61, Mask>> Sister



Here to complete the mood.

Regards,

Late Post From The Birthday Girl

Yes, this month I had my 22nd birthday.
It happened on February 3rd.
But, I was kindda lazy to celebrate it.
Haha.
Considering I haven't done anything to this world (yet).
I'm not that helpful to my family either.
So, I decided to celebrate my birthday quietly.
Haha.
Just me and my family.
Singing in a karaoke for 3 hours.
That's it.
No extra party or anything.

But, what makes me happy is the fact that I have a lot of nice friends who really care about me.
My family?
Don't ask.
They are the best.

So, I'm just saying thank God for giving me more time to enjoy this world.
Thanks to all my friend who gave me some nice words and prayers.
May God gives back what you wanted.

I took some picture today.
With my new red coat.
Say it a present from my mom.
Haha.
Actually, she just gave me the money and I bought it myself.
It's better that way.
I know what I want, so I better buy it by myself.
Here they are.




DETAILS:

Red Coat>> Somewhere in Bogor, Peach Top>> Mum's, Scarf>> Mum's, Jeans>> Unbranded, Painted Shoes>> Yuni's, Bag>> Some Bazaar, Bow Hair Piece>> Strawberry, Ring>> Some Bazaar

Regards,

Chris Colfer Inspirational Speech

After winning his first Golden Globe Award,
Chris Colfer ended his speech with these amazing words.


"Most importantly, to all the amazing kids that watch our show and the kids that our show celebrates, who are constantly told 'no' by the people in their environments, by bullies at school that they can't be who they are or have what they want because of who they are. Well, screw that, kids."

Well, I may not a victim of bullying at school.
But, there are lots of people who laugh at me for what I say, wear, and care.
Or for my body type, my face, my hair, and so on.
That's why, for me, this speech is amazing.
I hope I can be in his position someday.
Where I can tell people who feel the same way like me to fight back and be successful.

And this is the video.

Regards,

Better Early Than Never

Source: +

Haha.
The title there is just my excuse.
Well, I'm having a free time today.
So, I decided to have a 2nd blog anniversary early this year.
It suppose to happen tomorrow.
But, I just wanna do it today.

Sooooo, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!



Source: +

I'm going for water world theme this year. Just kidding.



Source: +


Ooh, and I took pictures today. Here they are.


Just bought this Arale hat. Real awesome.



DETAILS:
Arale's Hat>> Gonzo, Green Cropped Top>> Vintage, Pants>> Somewhere in Depok, Socks>> Sister's, Wedges>> Centro, Bag>> Secondhand, Gedebage, Ring + Bangles>> Bazaar in Bogor, Geek Glasses>> Vintage

Regards,