Today is..

Today is my birthday
It supposed to be special
But it's not as special as you might think

I'm 20 now
That's a big number
But I'm not big at all
In every way..
I mean I haven't done something big for others
Or
Even for myself

These stuff around me
And people's expectation upon me
It was like I'm living in a shadow
A huge shadow that blacking me out
Controlling every steps that I take
Making me afraid to make mistakes
And keep pushing me to do something that I'm not

But it's how you live in reality I guess
You can't always do what you want
You can't always be who you are
People judge you
People value you
People isolate you

I'm 20 now
That's a big number
I hope I can be strong enough to hold my life
I hope I can be brave enough to reach my dreams
I hope I can be crazy enough to break the rules
And
I hope I can fly high enough to see the world


written by me
who is scared confused happy and relieve
in the same time